~*~ Oman Sky * ســمــا عُـــمـان ~*~
The Blue Sky Of Peaceful Land Of Beautiful OMAN
Saturday, September 09, 2006
حقوق الأبناء قبل حقوق الآباء

خلال فترات دراستي سواء بالمدرسة أو الكلية كنت كـ بئر عميق أحوي أسرار زميلاتي و صديقاتي ... كنت أحاول مساعدتهن إذا كان ممكن أو مواساتهن والتخفيف عليهن.

كثيرة هي القصص ... لكني لن أسردها ...فقط سآخذ بشكل سطحي بعضها و خاصة ما يخص الأبناء والآباء...

أولها عن زميلة أصبحت صديقة فيما بعد كانت تتحاشى ذكر حياتها الخاصة و ما يخص أهلها...لكني لم ألحظ هذا الأمر... و بطريق الصدفة عرفت كل شيء تحاول إخفاءه... تألمت لأجلها و لم أصارحها...إلى أن أخبرتني بنفسها ...فخففت عنها ... وكثيراًَ ما تصلني معلومات من خلال "ثرثرة النسوان"...لكني أخفيها حتى لا أجرح أي صديقة أو زميلة أو أي شخص مهما كان. كنت سعيدة أن زميلتي و صديقتي استطاعت تخطي شعورها و إحراجها لتقول هكذا صار و كل شيء مكتوب و مقدر من الله.

"لن أسرد قصتها لأنها أصعب من أن يتم تبسيطها ولأني أعرف أن نشرها صعب و لا يحق لي هذا إلا بعد أذنها و هذا ما لا أتوقعه"

صديقة أخرى كانت أكثر حساسية... لكنها سمحت لي أن أنقل كلامها و حكايتها لعل أحد يتفكر بأولاده... قالت:
كنت أشك في أنها أمي الحقيقية... و لولا أني أتيت للدنيا و أنا أحمل ملامحها لما صدقت أنها أمي...رغم أني أنكر أني أشبهها أو أحمل ملامحها ...لكن كل من يراني يعرف مباشرة أني ابنتها أو أقرب لها بدرجة كبيرة و إن لم يكن قابلني من قبل (وهذا الأمر يزعجني جداً)...لماذا اشك فيها؟؟ لأني لا اعرفها!! لم اعرفها إلا و أنا فتاة مراهقة... معرفة سطحية...لا أنكر أني كبرت و أنا أحمل جرح كبير و هو فقداني لأم حنون تحمل أسراري و تكون لي سند و تضمني لصدرها ...وبفخر شديد أتحدث عنها أمام صديقاتي اللواتي ما يتوقفن عن الحديث عن أمهاتهن... أخبرها عن صديقاتي... و تأتي مثل باقي الأمهات إلى المدرسة لتسأل عني...كنت أيامها و أنا طفلة انزوي بعيداً ولكن بكبرياء عندما تحدث مناسبات بالمدرسة و أرى كل الأمهات و قد حضرن لأجل بناتهن و أرى كل بنت مثل الفراشة المبتهجة و التي تحوم حول وردتها (أمها)...كنت أكبت كل مشاعري و أحزاني حتى لا أجعل أحد يشعر بالحزن أو التعاسة لأجلي......
ظننتها بعد كل هذا ستكون البلسم لكل الجروح...ظننتها ستسعى أن تعوضني ما افتقدته طوال عمري و تندم على الأيام التي تركتني فيها ... ظننتها ستشعر كم ضحى والدي لأجلي... لكنها لم تفعل هذا ...بل أنها ربت أولاد غيرها و تساعد الغريب عنها... لا أشعر أنها أم بل سيدة غريبة تحمل لقب (أمي)...اللفظة التي لم أنطق بها طوال عمري... يعجز لساني عن نطقها لها... لا أعرف حتى كيف أنطق هذه اللفظة...وكأني بحاجة إلى دروس خصوصية لأتدرب على نطقها... أنا لم أواجهها يوما على تركها لي و تخليها عني...لم أواجهها كونها ربت أولاد شخص أخر و تركت أبنتها التي أنجبتها... لم أواجهها كونها لم تكلف نفسها حتى عناء المطالبة برؤيتي ولو في السنة مرة أو على الأقل زيارتي في المدرسة ولو في كل فصل دراسي...على الأقل كنت سأعرف أن لي أم موجودة في الدنيا...و لا أظل أعيش وهم أن لا أم لي في هذه الحياة أو (لعلها ميتة). لم أواجهها لان لا فائدة من المواجهة و إرجاع أوجاع و جراحات الماضي... رغم هذا كله سأحاول أن أساعدها بكل ما لدي ... رغم هذا كله سأحاول تقديم حقوقها رغم أنها لم تمنحني حقوقي.... بل أنها عقتني و أنا صغيرة. يا ريتها تعرف كل هذا لتشعر قليلاً بما أشعر به... لكنها بوادي وأنا بوادي أخر...!

==============================

هناك عدة نقاط أود تأكيدها...

أن عقوق الوالدين يقود إلى عقوق الأبناء... اذكر حديث و قصة بهذا الشأن عندما آتى رجل يشتكي أن ولده يعقه و عندما سئل الولد عن هذا قال: هو عقني قبلي... اختار لي أم مجوسية و أعطاني اسم قبيح ... فقيل له: أننت عققت ولدك قبل أن يعقك.
الإسلام أقر على الأبناء أن يقوموا على طاعة الوالدين و إقامة حقوقهم. ولكنه بنفس الوقت أقر على الآباء أن يقدموا حقوق الأبناء. هناك إذاً حقوق الأبناء و حقوق الآباء و هنا عقوق الأبناء و عقوق الآباء!
الأم ليست التي أنجبت بل التي ربت و تعبت و سهرت لأجل راحة أولادها وكانت الأم الفاضلة التي يشرف بها كل ابن و بنت...هي من تستحق التقدير والاحترام ...
الأب هو من اجتهد و تعب و ضحى لأجل أبناءه و أهتم أن يكون قدوة صالحة لهم و أن لا يفعل أي شيء يسيء لهم و يجرحهم... و ليس من أنجبهم و تخلى عنهم و شوه صورته أمامهم.
على الوالدين أن يؤديا حقوق أبنائهم قبل أن يطالبوا بحقوقهم...
صديقتي تفكر أنها لن تقدر أن تكون أم مثالية و لا تفكر أن تتزوج أو تنجب... وهذا غير صحيح....فانا ضد مقولة (فاقد الشيء لا يعطيه)...فهي شعرت كم كان مؤلم أن تكون بلا أم و هي تدرك أكثر من غيرها الشعور بفقدان الشيء و صعوبة الحرمان منه...لذا فهي ستكون أكثر من الجميع حرصاً على تقديم الحنان و الحب لأولادها لأنها شعرت بمرارة فقدان حب الأم.
تماماً مثل الولد اليتيم لما يكبر يحاول أن يعطي أولاده كل ما يرغبون و لا يحرمهم مثل ما شعر هو بالحرمان.
posted by Sama Oman @ 9:53 AM  
73 Comments:
  • At September 09, 2006 10:23 PM, Blogger Jeff said…

    For some reason, my eyes can't focus on the letters...they look almost like ARABIC or something. Hooo, I must need glasses bad.

    Golly, Sama, you sure are pretty! Which one are you, the big one or the little one?

    ...

    I agree about holding a book in my hand, it's a great feeling, isn't it? And even smelling them can be nice!

    I'd like to send you some books, but where can I send them? Do they have Poste Restante in Oman?

     
  • At September 10, 2006 12:00 AM, Blogger نون النساء said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At September 10, 2006 12:00 AM, Blogger نون النساء said…

    i think some body is trying to talk in arabic
    and for sure it's sounds very nice hahahahahaha...


    أرجعلج سما

    علاقة الأم ببنتها مادري ليش احسها معقدة
    يمكن من ناحيتي أنا اتذكرت نفسي خلال حديثج
    انا يوم كنت ياهل كنت ابعيده عن امي
    مادري يمكن من زود الشطانه وكنت فعلا فعلا ما أنطاق..

    في مرحلة المراهقه
    كان عالمي يدور حوالين صديقاتي
    وسوالفهم وروحاتهم واشكالنا
    وامي دورها كان ثانوي
    لاني كنت متعلقه في ابوي اكثر

    بس بعدين وبعد ما خلصت الثنوية
    اكتشفت ان عندي ام وخلال الست سنوات الماضيه ماتتصورين اشكثر كنت قريبة منها .. بس للحيني أطفرها اشوي ههههههه


    ومسألة تأدية حقوق الأبناء أولا ومن ثم الآباء اتفق معاج فيها مية بالمية أنا علشان أجني ثمار تعبي مع أبنائي لما أكبر لازم أؤدي واجبي اتجاههم أيضاً في صغرهم

    وفاقد الشي لا يعطيه مقولة تحتمل النقض
    لان فقدان الشيء ممكن يكون محرض قوي للشخص على توفيره وبشكل غامر أيضا
    طبعا بإختلاف المواقف .


    :*

     
  • At September 10, 2006 8:37 AM, Blogger Arabian Princess said…

    لا يوجد ما أضيفه على ما قلته .. مقالة ممتازة :)

     
  • At September 10, 2006 1:21 PM, Anonymous Tutti Frutti said…

    مرحبا
    :)
    عارفه يا سما
    أنا سمعت هالجمله من الشيخ محمد العريفي(أنت عققت ولدك قبل أن يعقك)لكن ما فهمت معناها ولا أدركت مقصدها الا من اللي كتبتيه والقصص اللي ذكرتيها

    يعطيك العافيه عزيزتي

     
  • At September 11, 2006 10:00 AM, Blogger >>Sama Oman said…

    LOL….Jeff…you need to learn how to read these letters. Try to learn like Nancy…that will be great for you. I wish to learn many languages, but I didn't start yet :(
    Big LOOL…I wish I'm was as pretty as these girls…I LOVE this picture…I found it here and I scanned it…I feel it's really GREAT picture for mother and her daughter…it's a painting as I guess, but I don't who's the painter…he or she is GREAT one!
    Oh Yes, I adore holding books and I love the smell of papers…I love old books with old brown papers…give me great feelings…because I love old things.
    You really will send books for ME…
    Hmmm…should I give you my private B. O. Box?
    Thank you dear…you are very generous :)

    نوووووووووووون
    ما توقعت هالشيء صار معك
    بس جميل أن صرت قريبة منها و هذا معناه أنها فعلاً أم رائعة لك
    وفعلاً فاقد الشيء يكون أكثر حرصاُ على أن لا يكون مفقود لدى الآخرين لأنه أحس بصعوبة فقده.

    أم قصي: مشكورة ...بس تمنيت لو كان لك إضافة بحكم خبرتك الحياتية.


    أوووووه
    توتي حياتي
    انا يعجبني هالشيخ الراقي
    معتدل سمح بشوش مرح
    و كنت أتابعة بس أنشغلت مؤخراً
    شكراً لك يا قمر
    و على مشاركتك

     
  • At September 11, 2006 12:27 PM, Blogger >>Sama Oman said…

    LOL....Jeff.......go and see my SamaOman Album...there is something for you there :D

    http://s102.photobucket.com/albums/m93/SamaOman/

     
  • At September 11, 2006 12:27 PM, Blogger >>Sama Oman said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At September 15, 2006 1:53 PM, Blogger layal said…

    ذكرتيني بقصه الام والاب اللذان تركا ابنتهما عند جدتها لتربيها فهم كانوا فقراء وعندما رزقهما الله وانجبا غيرها تنسوا هذه البنت تصوري ان الام تقول اني لا احس بمشاعر الامومه لهذه البنت وهذه البنت لم تنطق بأسم امها فهي تناديها بأسمها القصه طويله لكن اين حقوق هذه الطفله ؟؟

     
  • At September 18, 2006 6:44 AM, Blogger >>Sama Oman said…

    هذا ما يحز بالنفس فعلاً يا ليال...
    أن لا تجد البنت التعويض من أمها...فهما كانت الظروف شديدة تظل الكلمة الطيبة و البادرة اللطيفة من الوالدين مؤثرة جداً جداً في الأطفال...كيف نتوقع من هذه البنت أو غيرها أن تتعامل بحب و شوق لأم تعاملها ببرود و لا تشعر مها بمشاعر الأم الحقيقة. الله يهدي الجميع و لعل هذا يكون عظة و عبرة للآخرين.

     
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