| Thursday, June 29, 2006
| Between Anger and… Emotions!!!
Listen My Dears…
I may make you felt bad with my previous post.
Sorry for that, I never told anyone about my weakness times.
Few people got the chance to see my pearls …
Oh…I meant my tears :^D
No, seriously, I was a little bit…a little bit sad and feel really bad. I never want to go in personal in my blogs. I prefer to keep it underwarp as they say… so, it was out of my control and I needed to let it go somehow….
Anyways, today I want to know how is your reaction when you get mad and angry?
We can philosophize about that by saying: we should be calm, we should control ourselves as Prophet Mohammed ordered us to do and never let our anger control us. However, that's only words in normal days because when it comes, you can't see anything in front of the fire of anger.
I can put myself again as an example:
Last week I was really really mad with someone and by specific incident…
Usually, I need to say nothing because my eyes tell people to stay 100 Meter away from me!
They know when I'm totally mad and need no argument with any one.
so, honestly… I try to control myself and not let the anger control me, but mostly I can't … I could say some curses and try to say it lower as much as possible. Maybe I could break anything in front of me, but mostly, I switch on my recorder with wild, crazy noisy western song and let this song rock my room and to be upper then my anger. I know it's bad idea, but still harmless. I try to put Holy Qu'ran instead of crazy noisy song…
yet, my anger reaction is unpredicted.
I know….it's so horrible. But how can I think straight when my anger making me unsteady???
How about you?!!!
On the other hand, do you control your emotions and feelings and try to hide it from others…like the weakness time and shedding tears??
I do that mostly…I hide my feelings and my tears from others.
"Oh…Yes…I didn't … down here"
But … mostly… I don't cry whatever happened
(unless with unbearable events).
I hate to appear weak and pathetic…
Since my childhood till my teenage up to now…as an OLD lady :^D
Always try to be tough and do daring things.
But I notice that people who try to be tough and hide emotions are more sensitive and tender inside than what they appear and show to others…!!!
Am I right?!!!
What do you think?!!!
|posted by Sama Oman @ 3:05 PM
Yes, you are right.
People who have a lot of self-control suffer a lot. Sometimes even their relatives and friends don't know how much.
Other people think, "Oh, Sama is happy all the time." Or they think, "Oh, it's okay, Sama won't get hurt or angry. She is always smiling and nothing bothers her."
So, you have to pay the price two times. First, for holding it inside and controlling yourself. Second, people are careless with you, because they think you are tough on the inside also, not just the outside, so it doesn't matter how you act.
My rule is: when people seem sweet and they don't mind ANYTHING or when people are very TOUGH and smile all the time, pay special attention to them and be very, careful with them. Treat them like glass, try to find out what they need even if they won't tell you. Watch their faces carefully, especially their eyes, to see what makes them happy and what makes them angry or sad, because you can tell if you look closely, even if they don't want to admit it. And then, try to make them happy and avoid making them sad.
This is a reward for all their hard work.
You know what? It's amazing what happens! I had one woman tell me once, "You are the only person who can tell when I am angry. Not even my family knows!" She smiled, but when she was angry her eyes didn't smile, they looked different. First, when I would say, "You are angry," she would deny it. "No, I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm not angry." But finally she admitted it. "How do you know?," she asked?
She tried to trick me after that, to make her eyes smile, too; but she couldn't fool me, I knew every time! :-D
Sometimes people push you away; they want to deal with things privately and that's okay. But sometimes, people are so happy that you cared and you tried to understand them. There's often a lot of anger or pain there and no place for it to go! So you can say, "Let me carry some of it for you. You carry it all the time. If you want to let it out, I will soak it up like water in a sponge. You can let me see your anger. Or you can get angry at me, it's okay. Or you can get sad."
It's hard for them, it's scary sometimes, they feel embarrassed and like they are out of control. But if you are faithful and you don't betray them, it's usually a big help.
Anyway, everybody knows you are strong, Sama. And you are strong enough to show us the inside a little bit, that is stronger than strong. So, nothing to apologize for. I was sad that you were sad, but I was happy that you shared it.
But....will you please tell us one of the daring things you always did. Other than the tiger-riding, you told us about that one already! ;-)
And I answered your religion questions below in the Barnabas post. Too long again! And confusing...
But I tried.
اتقي شر الحليم اذا غضب
هذا شنو معناته ؟؟
الانسان الهادىء ليس بالضرورة انسان لا يملك الرد ولكن هو بطبيعته ينأ عن ما حوله بسبب خلقه الكريم
اللي قلتيه فيه جانب كبير من الصحه الشخص القاسي او الصعب المراس ممكن يكون انسان حساس للغايه
والانسان الهادي ممكن يكون يغلي من الداخل لكن ما في حد حاس بهذا الشي
Oh, Jeff…that's true…people like Glasses and we need to treat them carefully…Prophet Mohammed described women as soft glasses and said (be nice to AlKawareer, who meant by that the soft and tender women).
You are amazing to know that…I have my own way to know too…the sad and angry person has special face expression and try to avoid any eyes' contact….while who is happy will love to see directly to the eyes..
A psychiatrist said once: each time I meet people laughing and smiling I wonder what a story behind each one… !
It's true…we wear masks of happiness most of time trying to fool others and fool ourselves… I do that… I have surrounded my family and personal life with big secrecy. So, I used to have many rumors around me… about my engagement or my family members and even the nationality of my mother…all people …all of them since I was at school till my college thought that my mother is originally Jordanian or Egyptian. I don't know why?! I couldn’t find out why this stupid theory hunting me… anyways, I enjoyed some of the rumors, but I hate their intrusion on my own private life. As long as I didn't mention anything, they should know that I want to keep my life and secrets for me.
Oh…daring actions…LOOL…I can't say otherwise many will know who am I :D
Well, once…I asked my lecturer to give me his car key because I want to go somewhere and I had good relation with my old respectable lecturer…so HE DID….he gave me his car's key while I don't have any license and I can't drive car!!! I went out and then I came back smiling…Oh Dear lecturer …you are so good man. He trusted me and he wasn't worry at all!!!
In my childhood I was adventurous girl…I wasn't normal girl with girlish dollz…I was heading my own expedition to discover our neighborhood and what is new.
So many stories…let me see if there are some I can tell without been recognize by others ;)
صح يا ليال...المثل صحيح ، فهو على قدر حلمه و تسامحه فغضبته ستكون شديدة تخرج كل ما كان يكبته من ضيق و غضب.
You should compare your writing now, here with how you started out. Big change!
So much more relaxed and deep!
I'm enjoying getting to know you a lot and I hope you aren't getting tired of it!
How did you keep your family life a secret at school? You didn't have any friends of your family there to tell the other students? Or people didn't know your brothers? I couldn't have done it...
BTW, you can borrow my car keys any time you want... ;-)
I am glad you have calmed down. Psychologically, its good to let out steam, that way nothing get bottled up, on the other hand, letting out steam on someone, is not good for relation, it may break the relationship and cause ill feelings.
As for myself, I try my best to keep control, thus avoiding saying or doing something I can later regret.
So smile and keep things in control :)
I once let someone drive my car, not realising it was her first time, and guess what, she ran straight into a wall :(
OH, Jeff…thanks darling. I was right when I created this blog, so I met up with gorgeous people of this world ;)
Yes, I wasn't like other girls in school speaking about my family and my mom or my dad. So, that made them curious to know anything about me. I did have good friends that know everything about me and because they are good…they didn't speak out about my private life and my secrets to others. What happen mostly that a girl or someone say a small rumor like my mother rumor, so from person to other it will go bigger and bigger…give it more details and more emotions that make me laugh. In my college, a girl I barely know her name spread this rumor about me: Sama's mother is Jordanian and she is not living here with them, so Sama and her siblings go each year to visit her mother there in Jordan….LOOOOL. what a tragedy!!! HaHaHaHa. How I did find out about this…a dear classmate came to me…to ask with sad face how that girl knows all that about my life and she is the last one to know!!!. That always makes me laugh.
I shocked once by my childhood friend, who came to me when we were in high school to ask about my engagement!!!!. I was stunned by her story that her mother spread about my secret engagement and I was about to wed after 2 weeks. I was so surprised that I said: Oh…really…I don't know?!!! no one told about that!!
Anyway, I hate people to ask private questions about me or my family. What the…!?.
Years ago, I met women in a public place and I hate anyone to ask me private questions in public places. Those women who I didn't know them knew who am I…so they showered me with their silly rude questions. I was totally mad…sorry, but I gave them tough answers "maybe I was harsh on them!". Now, I just ignore anyone try to go so deep into private questions. I respect privacy of others, so they should learn how to respect mine.
Well, thanks for your kind offer. My lecturer was really good man with white heart…he helped me a lot to speak and improve my English.
Nash Dear, I'm trying to hold my anger and not put anyone in danger ;)
OMG, that's so awful…
I was joking with my lecturer about his car and I will never borrow anything that I can't take care of.
Hope she didn't mean that… SORRY DEAR :(
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